Understanding the Issue: Gambling in Aotearoa

Kia ora! Gambling is a pretty common pastime in New Zealand, from a cheeky flutter on the pokies to a bet on the All Blacks. But for some, it can become a real problem. It’s important to remember that problem gambling isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a health issue, just like any other addiction. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re worried about a friend or family member. You’re in the right place. This article will give you some tips on how to help, focusing on practical steps you can take.

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, especially with the convenience of online platforms. Many people enjoy the thrill of the chase, but for some, it can spiral out of control. Understanding the signs is the first step. Look out for things like secretive behaviour, borrowing money, neglecting responsibilities, and chasing losses. The ease of access to online platforms, including sites like game access, can make it even harder to manage gambling habits.

Spotting the Signs: What to Look For

Recognising the signs of problem gambling is crucial. Here are some things to watch out for in your friend or family member:

• Increased Secrecy: Are they hiding their gambling activities or being secretive about where they’re going and what they’re doing with their money?
• Financial Trouble: Are they constantly short on money, borrowing from others, or struggling to pay bills? Are they selling possessions to fund their gambling?
• Preoccupation: Do they spend a lot of time thinking about gambling, planning their next bet, or reliving past gambling experiences?
• Chasing Losses: Do they feel the need to gamble more and more to try and win back what they’ve lost?
• Irritability and Mood Swings: Are they easily agitated, anxious, or depressed, especially when they can’t gamble?
• Neglecting Responsibilities: Are they missing work, neglecting family obligations, or letting their health suffer because of their gambling?
• Withdrawal: Have they withdrawn from social activities or relationships?

If you notice several of these signs, it’s a good idea to start a conversation and offer support.

Having the Conversation: Talking to Your Mate

Talking to someone about their gambling can be tough, but it’s an important step. Here’s how to approach the conversation:

• Choose the Right Time and Place: Pick a time when you can both talk privately, without distractions. Avoid doing it when they’re upset or have been gambling.
• Be Calm and Empathetic: Start by expressing your concern and letting them know you care. Avoid being judgmental or accusatory. Use “I” statements, such as “I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately” instead of “You’re always gambling.”
• Focus on Specific Behaviours: Instead of saying “You have a gambling problem,” point out the behaviours you’ve observed, like “I’ve noticed you’ve been borrowing money from friends.”
• Listen Actively: Let them share their feelings and experiences without interruption. Try to understand their perspective.
• Avoid Giving Financial Assistance: While it’s tempting to help, giving them money can enable their gambling.
• Suggest Seeking Help: Gently suggest that they seek professional help. Offer to help them find resources or make appointments.

Finding Support: Resources in Aotearoa

New Zealand has several resources available to help people with gambling problems and their families:

• Problem Gambling Foundation of New Zealand: This organisation offers free counselling, support groups, and information. You can find them online or call their helpline.
• Gambling Helpline: This is a free, confidential phone service available 24/7. You can call 0800 654 655. They provide support, information, and referrals to other services.
• Te Hiringa Hauora: This is a government agency that provides information and resources on gambling harm.
• Your GP (General Practitioner): Your doctor can provide support, advice, and referrals to specialist services.
• Family Services: Many family service organisations offer counselling and support for families affected by problem gambling.

Practical Steps: What You Can Do

Besides having the conversation and helping them find support, here are some practical things you can do:

• Learn About Problem Gambling: The more you understand about problem gambling, the better equipped you’ll be to help.
• Set Boundaries: Protect yourself financially and emotionally. Don’t lend money and don’t get drawn into their gambling behaviour.
• Encourage Healthy Activities: Support their interests and hobbies that don’t involve gambling.
• Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone with a gambling problem can be stressful. Make sure you take care of your own mental and physical health. Seek support for yourself if needed.
• Consider a Self-Exclusion Program: If they’re gambling at a specific venue, they can choose to ban themselves from that venue.
• Help with Budgeting: If they’re open to it, help them create a budget and manage their finances.

The Road to Recovery: Patience and Persistence

Recovery from problem gambling takes time and effort. There will be ups and downs. It’s important to be patient, supportive, and persistent. Celebrate small victories and don’t give up on your friend or family member. Remember, you can’t force someone to change, but you can offer your support and encourage them to seek help. By working together, you can help them on their journey to recovery.

Conclusion: Your Role Matters

Supporting a friend or family member with a gambling problem in New Zealand can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly important. By understanding the signs, having open conversations, and providing access to resources, you can make a real difference in their life. Remember to take care of yourself, set boundaries, and seek support when you need it. Your compassion and understanding can be a lifeline for someone struggling with problem gambling. Kia kaha – be strong, and know that you are not alone on this journey.